Separation from my body to escape suffering – by Gary Pfeifer

“Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, Feign, Flirt” — these are some of the ways recipients of abuse might respond to their abusers.  In his post Separation from my body to escape suffering, Gary Pfeifer talks about this.

Here are the first two paragraphs of Gary’s post:

These days, self-integrity is really important to me. I will sacrifice comfort, convenience and opportunity to retain and regain my self-integrity. I understand the consequence of a divided mind – weighing me down with internal conflicts and the energy required to keep track of all the inconsistencies and when to allow or forbid each one.

As a child, i had no understanding of my self-integrity or its value. I was motivated by the experience of the moment. I cared about minimizing suffering and maximizing enjoyment. This meant mentally separating from my body to minimise the suffering of abuse. As the abuse included my head, i also separated from my head, my own face, and restricted my personal space to a small volume within my skull. I created an alternative reality in there to compensate for the loss of my connection to my physical reality. A place to hang out in my mind.

To read the full post, click here.